Physics jokes

One day, all of the world's famous physicists decided to get together for a party (ok, there were some non-physicists too who crashed the party). Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and was able to observe some of the guests...

• Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
• Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
• Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
• Cauchy, being the mathematician, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
• Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
• Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
• Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
• Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere's opinions on current events.
• Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
• Volta thought the social had a lot of potential.
• Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
• Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
• Feynman got from the door to the buffet table by taking every possible path
• The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
• van der Waals forced himeself to mingle.
• Wien radiated a colourful personality.
• Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
• de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
• Hollerith liked the hole idea.
• Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
• Everyone was attracted to Tesla's magnetic personality.
• Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
• Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
• Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
• Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
• Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
• Oppenheimer got bombed.
• The microwave started radiating in the background when Penzias and Wilson showed up.
• After one bite Chandrasekhar reached his limit.
• Gamow left the party early with a big bang while Hoyle stayed late in a steady state.
• For Schrodinger this was more a wave function rather than a social function.
• Skorucak wanted to put everybody on his web site.
• Erdos was sad no epsilons were invited.
• Born thought the probability of enjoying himself was pretty high.
• Instead of coming through the front door Josephson tunnelled through.
• Groucho refused to attend any party that would invite him in the first place.
• Niccolò Tartaglia kept stammering throughout the evening.
• Pauling wanted to bond with everyone.
• Keynes was keen to question the marginal utility of this party.
• Shakespeare could not decide whether to be or not to be at the party.
• John Forbes Nash wanted to play a n-person zero sum game.
• Pavlov brought his dog; which promptly chased after Schrodinger's cat.
• Zeno of Elea came with two friends - Achilles and the tortoise.
• Bill Gates came to install windows.
• Bertrand Russell kept wondering if the cook only cooks for the guests, who cooks for the cook?
• Witten bought a present all tied up with superstrings.
• The food was beautifully laid out by Mendeleyev on the periodic table.
• Riemann hypothesised about who would arrive next; to which Newton retorted, 'hypotheses non fingo.'
• Chadwick was handing out neutrons free of charge.
• Everyone was amazed at Bell's inequality.
• Watson and Crick danced the Double Helix.
• While Fermat sang, 'Save the Last Theorem for me.'
• Maxwell's demon argued with Dawkin's friend, the selfish Gene.
• Russell and Whitehead insisted on checking the bill for completeness and consistency. Godel said it was incomplete and it can never be proved otherwise.
• Epimenides the Cretan announced that only non-Cretans spoke the truth.
• Rontgen saw through everybody.
• Descartes cogitated, 'I think I am drunk. Therefore I am at the party.'

Yes this joke requires quite alot of knowledge in the scientific history and laws to make sense.. I did not understand some of them as well, budden still an enjoyable one.