Of cheese sausage semiconductor

Poor cheese sausage was being modeled as a semiconductor by 3 crazy (or more appropriately termed as the "yeow syndrome") engineers this afternoon over lunch at business canteen.

The sausage comprises of meat atoms positioned regularly in the sausage lattice. There are small amount of point defects which causes some ugly hollows in the sausage. Some grain boundaries, which are generally undesirable, are present, causing significant amount of scattering of the cheese particle, which is modeled as the negatively charge carriers aka the electrons. Photogeneration in the form or light or heat excited the electrons cheese, causing them to spread outwards towards the vacuum level, while creating a cheese-hole pair in the process. It was rumored that the sausage was doped, perhaps with a group 5 elements including the likes of oil and chilly sauce, in an effort to enhance the electrons cheese concentration (n-type sausage!) and thus the sausage electrical cheesy properties.

Someone gotta stop these 3 lunatics before they start creating a Gaussian surface around the cheese sausage and taking the surface integral to find the electric cheese field density…